Why’d They Do That?

In an earlier post, I shared my views on the power of listening to understand. I’ve continued to think about how we can help each other through this turmoil.

As CCAW grew, our team grew. I was no longer involved in every decision or even aware of every initiative. An empowered team making decisions without me was my goal. Inevitably, some decisions didn’t result in the desired outcome. Translation: things blew up sometimes.

No one is perfect, and my team members had good intentions. We were all in it together, working to build a great company. Naturally, we sometimes had different ideas about how to do it. Our different perspectives were valuable and often lead to amazing outcomes. But sometimes they caused us to miss the mark.

By the time something reached my desk, it usually meant a decision had worked out poorly. Instead of beating a dead horse, I learned to focus on the reasons for the decision. Why did you do it that way? Why was that the chosen path? What led up to you making that decision? Asking these questions was far more valuable than casting blame. I listened with the intent to understand, and ultimately, I did—I understood their why. Then I was able to work with them to develop solutions that supported their why.

Understanding why begets perspective. More importantly, it gives insight into the other person’s perspective. Understanding why someone makes the choices they do is a building block in (or even the foundation of) the positive working relationship required to achieve a common goal.

We’re all in this together, but that doesn’t mean we all see things the same way. Consider listening to understand why. When you do, you can begin to see things from a different perspective.

You might be interested in this short video about Colin Kaepernick's and Army veteran Nate Boyer’s desire to understand one another. It led Nate to “understand that we’re not that different, and we probably want the same things at the end of the day” and to a compromise that incorporated both perspectives.

Be part of the solution. Understand why.